I thought you said we had 14.95 in the cash box. Beauregard: I don't even know what I'm doing now! Rowlf the Dog: [as Dr. Bob treating a Viking pig] I know all about them - they come from Denmark. Isn't that that cute little children's show with puppets? What has a skull like head, fiery green eyes, and a torn cape? Any complaints? Animal: [shakes head emphatically] No, no. The Newsman: Here's a Muppet News Flash. Leslie Uggams: I give him the straight lines, and he gives me the fish lines. Some Statler & Waldorf quotes that I like: From Muppet*Vision 3D: Fozzie: How did you get here? Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Statler: You know I never liked this show's theme music. Fozzie Bear: [running on-stage] Hiya! Kermit the Frog: [Still shouting] I'll *tell* you what I'm going to do, Piggy. Fozzie: [dressed as a telephone] Mike Oznowiczsky. Waldorf: The show didn't exactly lay an egg. The Carrot: Watch it, lady. Scooter: [talking about Gonzo's teddy bear] What do I think of the bear? Hey, make sure Connie is OK and tell Gonzo either the plant goes or he goes. There's two kinda... [gets cut off by the closing curtain]. Doing the Muppet Show you forget about conventional filming. Waldorf: [after the ending theme plays] Uh, Statler? Sam the American Eagle: I'll handle this. Reach for the floor. Loretta Swit: Oh, now, Kermit, you know how important Miss Piggy is to this show. Waldorf: We're look more like members of the Stone Age! The Muppet Show and all it’s characters came di… We felt the need these days are for some quality children's programming. And I will introduce this number for my hip brothers, green stuff. Statler: Time for the audience to go elsewhere! Kermit: [after Juliet called him "the Robert Redford of frogs"]You're gon… Statler: Well, that's better than opening it with a bang. Fozzie Bear: Why isn't the bear keeping his mouth shut. Discover and share Muppets Statler And Waldorf Quotes. And it's not just the quadripeds, neither. Unfortunately, Mrs. Galley didn't wish to move to Denmark, so she fricasseed the ballerina for lunch. Reports say that hats are falling all over the... [suddenly, a bunch of hats all fall down on the Newsman, followed by a helmet that lands on his head], [Sellers is standing in his dressing room, alone, wearing pantaloons, a corset, boxing gloves, and a viking helmet with horns and braids]. Statler: Of course not. The Muppet Show Quotes 34250. Lesley Ann Warren: You know, Kermit, I thought you were the one person on this show who wasn't crazy. Fozzie: Gonzo, I will not forget her name. I think you're quite attractive. [an explosion with bright light comes through the phone's mike]. The Great Gonzo: Well, I'm glad you like him. Kermit the Frog: Ladies and gentlemen. [swings at Big Bird, but he doubles over and she misses and falls]. Half of them brought the tar and the rest brought the feathers! How come? The continuous story of a quack, Who is gone to the dogs. [the mackerel hits the Newsman on the head, knocking him out]. The Muppets Quotes. Gary: So you guys aren't getting back together? [flames shoot out of the radio in response] Whoa, touchy! My home. Waldorf: Yes, it will drive people to read books. [Fozzie hits him in the face with a pie]. Rowlf: I'm still in shock from what happened to my last patient. I'm going home. Many of the performers also worked on Sesame Street, whose characters made sporadic appearances on The Muppet Show. Kermit the Frog: Now, there is no such thing as a phantom. Fozzie: New York is so crowded, even the cemeteries are standing room only. Statler: Yes, it was. Muppet Newsman: Here is a Muppet News Flash. Floyd Pepper: Everything is everything. Statler: [reacting to the Luncheon Counter Monster eating a machine] Disgusting! Kermit: Uh, I'm sorry, Sam. I'm a hit! Fozzie Bear: Tired frog? Waldorf: [waking up] Who's a fool? Kermit: That one thinks he's Rudolf Nureyev. The Muppet Show/Quotes < The Muppet Show. Now that Muppy is doing the big Simon Smith number, he has one other suggestion. With the name of the board you would like to be added to. I'm scared! Kermit the Frog: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Harry Belafonte! Let's take turns and rhyme together... the rhyming song. [a bunch of chickens just played "Down at Papa Joe's" on the piano], Statler: Awful! This is an adaptation from Charles Dickens classic novel that tells about the metamorphosis of Scrooge. You weirdo! Statler: We got our money's worth tonight. Nov 5, 2020 - The Muppet Quotes and sayings If you would like to be added to this bored please e-mail me at iphoneipadapphelp@gmail.com. Mildred: And he calls himself a world traveler? I am traveling with my beautiful assistant and a hideously deformed monster. Mrs. Lola Thomas of that city has just finished eating an entire diesel tractor. Kermit the Frog: The, uh, bear has wigged out. Statler: Terrible. Statler: Well, I've seen a lot of versions of Robin Hood, but none to match this one. No, no, don't tell me. Fozzie: I am a telephone pole, I am made of solid wood. Uh, isn't "Lullaby of Birdland" all right? Kermit the Frog: [singing] The frog has come to have his say. Dateline: New Brunswick. Why don't you work on it? When you told me we were spending a week in the swamp, you never said there would be snakes and spiders and... [inhales]... alligators! He's locked himself in his dressing room, and he's not coming out. Lou Rawls: Well, let me ask you this: you see I've got this long road trip coming up, and I'm short a drummer. I hired the others. Miss Piggy: You know something, nasty nose? All Muppets, Bear characters are copyright of The Muppets Studio. [he gets cut off by the sound of a soprano diva, followed by a gunshot that causes the diva to fall on his desk]. As a fitting tribute to her brave husband, Mrs. Cosgrove announced that for the next ten days, she will fly him at half-mast. Waldorf: Hey, doesn't Hope usually sing "Thanks For The Memories"? Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety. Vincent Price: Good evening. Statler: If you had half a mind, you wouldn't be here. Statler: Yes, unless I get lucky and break my leg. [Coins start pouring out of the mike on the phone, and Fozzie takes off his hat quickly to catch them], Fozzie: Las Vegas. Bert: You may a stranger across a crowded room/And somehow you'll know, you know even then/That somewhere you'll see her again and again/Who can explain it? They seem to get carried away. This is a stick down. Statler: Well, I once saved a rat from drowning. Statler: You know, I think they were trying to make a point with that sketch. [tempo increases and the Muppets come on the stage]. Charlie McCarthy: I see. Miss Piggy: Are you saying I am a little overweight? Isn’t that that cute little children’s show with puppets?” “Who am I? The Newsman: Science tells all that inanimate objects cannot turn into monsters. Mark Hamill: [to Luke] Who's your tailor? Our newsroom has been flooded with calls today reporting that furniture all over town has been turning into monsters. Ernie: Bert, you must admit, though, Bert, that the head up there is a little bit pointy, Bert. Said his youngest son, Leonid, "He smells funny.". Guy in theater: Then bring on the girl comic! HIM? Floyd Pepper: Yeah. Kermit the Frog: [reading from script] Uh, Thank you, thank you... Fozzie, this is not going to work. Rowlf the Dog: [to Nigel as he plays the show's theme on his piano] Well, you must admit, Nigel, this does sound a little square. Waldorf: In your opinion maybe, but more than 2,000 people attended his final performance. Kermit. Hey, hey, folks, this is a story you gotta love to hear! Edgar Bergen: Listen, Mortimer. There's two kinda... Kermit the Frog: Stand by for the Western Sketch. Zoot: What if you and I just get right down to it and do this little beauty, huh? This time I have really got it. Miss Piggy: [Gonzo has come up behind Piggy and is nuzzling up to her] GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU TWIT TURKEY! Waldorf: Jean-Pierre has recorded an album of Frank Sinatra's hits on the flute! Last week he ate the guest. Gonzo: Okay. Rita Moreno: Kermit I was wondering if we could just forget the cue cards and just ad lib it. Kermit the Frog: You pay him by the line? Waldorf: At these prices, who's going to complain? Milton Berle: You know, most people don't know that there are words to that song. Joel Grey: [in German accent] Danke heir Kermit. In this very theatre. All Seasons Season 1 . Soprano Beverly Sills withdrew her announced plans to retire from the operatic stage. I'm going to send you on a one-way trip TO THE GEEK FARM! At last, your family can be protected from the heartbreak of gorilla invasion. Hrmm? Gonzo: I know. An inscription over the tomb warned that the crocodile god, Rezal-evad-gib... That's Rezal-evad-gib... would wreck a terrible vengeance on anyone who entered the tomb or even pronounced his name aloud. Shop affordable wall art to hang in dorms, bedrooms, offices, or anywhere blank walls aren't welcome. Statler: [to audience] Why do *you* watch it? Yes I don't mind doing that but there are others who may take offense. Kermit: [Towards the camera] What the hey? I remember Nancy Walker. Get the beaker, Beaker. They paid him a huge celery. There he is: the Fastest Gerkin in the West. Kermit: [sadly] No. Finally! Beauregard: Kermit! Do you see that star here? [both laugh]. You meet a frog without a sense of humor and you're looking at a green lump. Kermit: Sounds more like the voice of Gonzo. [Sam loses composure for a second, then continues]. [Piggy looks stunned and slowly looks toward Gonzo]. The Entertainer: the Star of the Show. Bernadette Peters: Oh really? Ich hab’ auf Lebzeiten im Heim ein Zimmer für verhaschte Typen, verstehst Du?" The Newsman: Muppet News Flash! Kermit the Frog: Ladies and gentlemen, in a major feat of death-defying musicrobatics never seen before, the Great Gonzo will perform, on bagpipes, the Eine Kleine Nachtmusik from a flagpole ten feet in the air. Miss Piggy: [angrily] Have you heard this one about this very FLAT bear? And that storyteller went way back into African tradition and African mythology and began to tell the story about the fire, which means the sun, and about the water, and about the earth, and then he pointed out that all these things put together turn the world around. Statler, Waldorf: [startled] No, we didn't! Must have been about 9:00. Statler: Because the alligators were sick. 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